You know who I'm really envious of? Luke. Yeah, that guy. Remember him? Remember that guy? You know, him. The guy that invented that certain type of water that's not too hot and not too cold. About room-temperature.
I'm jealous of him because his self-styled warmth is used across the English speaking world by nearly every person, nearly every week or two. That's a lot of useage! Compared to, say, the Bernoulli principle (you have no idea how long I took to think of that - trying to imagine something that's famous enough to be named, but not famous enough to be talked about on a day-to-day basis). If you're not familiar with the Bernouilli principle, fair enough, but that's enough to say that, well, Bernoulli, your principle just didn't cut it in terms of memorability. Not like Luke's word.
Good on you, Luke.
What a life he must have, lording it up in some semi-detached mansion somewhere, chuckling to himself in a "me-warm" bath, flicking the TV channels with a pretty big remote control, while ambivalent, partly-nude women flit in and out of his corion/marble combo bathroom, bringing him really milky cups of tea and bunches of half-ripened grapes.
Come to think of it, I'm not acually jealous of Luke. Not because of his disgustingly egotistical lifestyle, but because he forgot one important detail, one item that anyone creating an eponym would want to include: his surname. So, I'm not jealous of Luke anymore because he's an idiot.
Actually, Luke could be a surname in itself. Hmm, that's me stumped....
That said, he didn't even choose to capitalise whichever name he used, be it surname or fore. It's just...'lukewarm'. With a lower case l. So my point still stands - luke is a moron. Go to Hell, luke, you pathetic namer.
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